Life & Therapy

The idea of talking to a therapist is intimidating for some. If you are unfamiliar with the world of therapy and counseling, this is absolutely understandable. It may seem mysterious, and the idea of opening up to a complete stranger is nerve-wracking. Sometimes, though, the pain of doing this far outweighs the pain of trying to figure the problem you are facing by yourself.

I can remember the first time I saw a therapist as an adult. I was leery about it: I’d been forced to see an unethical therapist at the age of 14, and that made a big impression. As a young adult, I had reached a point in my life where I was in great pain, and couldn’t function. I called a therapist out of desperation, and she was able to see me. I hardly remember what we talked about that first session. I do remember feeling greatly relieved. I no longer had to try figure out how to make sense of the big mess my life had become, by myself. My therapist was so gentle and supportive, yet truthful. It really helped me to figure out how to face the truth of who I was, and then learn to love this truth.

I share this story now because, as a therapist, I know that many people who come to see me are extremely nervous in the beginning. It is easy to imagine that the person you are seeing hasn’t dealt with their own messiness, has never needed help they way that you are needing it. A good therapist is a human therapist, who does not at all feel that they are superior to their clients, and who has trudged through their own personal sludge at some point in life. It may be helpful to know this when you are taking the first step, and asking for help.

So, how do you actually find a therapist? Luckily, we live in the age of technology, so there are numerous sites with listings of therapists. Nationally, there is the Psychology Today therapist directory.
There is also Network Therapy. I recommend looking through and seeing which therapists you feel drawn toward, then look at their information. Pick a few. Give them a call. Notice how you feel as you speak to them. How are they treating you? Ask lots of questions! You do not need to open up until you feel safe, and it is the therapist’s job to help you to feel safe. If you feel safe enough after that first phone call, make an appointment. This is how you take the first step. More steps come after you decide whether or not this is the person you want to take these steps with.