Archive

Listed are the posts for January 2012.

When to Give an Ultimatum

I’ve written before about why ultimatums rarely work in relationships.   Relationship ultimatums tend to go along the lines of “Change your behavior, or I leave.”  Most of these ultimatums don’t work because the person issuing the ultimatum isn’t ready to follow through with the threat to end the relationship; however, there are times when an […]


Learning How to Speak in a New Emotional Language

Lately, my daughter is trying to figure out how to spell things.  She knows how to spell her name out loud, but when it comes to putting the physical letters together, her instinct is to make the letters go from right to left. Seeing her do this made me realize that I’ve taken for granted […]


Knowing and Communicating Your Limitations

When you meet someone that you want to be liked by, you might be tempted to hide your limitations for fear that you won’t get a chance to have a relationship with that person.  This holds true in personal and business relationships.  You perceive that this person will reject you if you can’t give them […]


Communicating Your Intentions in Relationships

The way a person drives speaks volumes about they way communicate. Today, for example, I was at a four-way stop sign. There was a car stopped at the same time, directly across from me. The driver started to move forward without flashing a turn signal, so I assumed that she, like me, was going to […]


Emotional Decluttering

After reading an article about doing a financial 30 day challenge, I decided to try the article’s suggestion to sell one thing on Ebay per day for 30 days.  There’s a lot of clutter in our house, and even though we give some things to charity on a regular basis, there are other things that […]


“Handling” Conflict by Ignoring the Problem

Recently, my daughter had her very first splinter in her foot.  This splinter was obviously making her uncomfortable: she was favoring one foot and wincing as she walked around.  I told her that we needed to take the splinter out, and that it might hurt a bit.  Well, she was not interested in having a […]


Communicating about Taking Space in a Relationship- An Alternative to the Silent Treatment

Often in a relationship, there is one person who needs more personal space than their partner. It can be hard for someone who doesn’t require much space to understand their partner’s need for it. Often, that need can be interpreted as rejection. If you are someone who needs more space than your partner, it can […]


The Things We Do To Avoid Asking Questions

My daughter knows how to ask for things nicely, but lately she’s discovered that when she does, sometimes the answer is “No.”  As a result, she’s been experimenting with ways to avoid getting the answer she doesn’t want.  Instead of asking, she announces things like, “I’m just going to have a taste of this butter,” […]


Being Truthful in Relationships Means Sometimes Saying What People Don’t Want to Hear

At some point in all real relationships- whether romantic, parental, or platonic- one person is going to do something that the other person dislikes. It is impossible to be genuine and truthful in relationship without sometimes disappointing or frustrating the people you have relationships with.  Communicating in advance, and following through with what has been […]


Validating Your Emotions Rather than Justifying Them

Some of the most transformative moments in life can come in the most ordinary circumstances.  You might be minding your own business, having a conversation with someone you talk to all the time.  Then that person says something that stops you in your tracks.  They might not even know that they are transforming your life- […]


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