Category: Personal Growth

The Difference Between Hard Work and Struggle in Relationship

I was once involved with someone who was quite lovely, and who wanted a much different sort of relationship than I did.  Our conflicting desires made the relationship unsustainable and rather painful. Unfortunately, we did not communicate to each other what we wanted our relationship to be until we were both too deeply hooked by […]


Learning to Love Your Broken, Injured Self

Learning to love yourself can be a messy, painful business in general, but even more painful and seemingly impossible if you were abused or neglected as a child.  If you grew up in this way, you grew to believe that certain parts of yourself were unlovable, undesirable, even disgusting or dangerous. When you are raised […]


Trusting Your Inner Authority over Your Primitive Self

We used to have unruly Dalmatians, one in particular who was extremely insecure and nervous.  She was aggressive and she barked a lot and sometimes she would bite.  We spent quite a lot of time, energy, and money on dog training.  Our trainer told us that in the world of dogs, the Alpha dog does […]


Trying to Fix Others to Make Yourself Feel Better

When I met my husband, he was going through a divorce. He’d recently moved with multiple pets into an old, crumbling house that had been a college rental for years.  The pets were insane and both the house and yard were a wreck which nobody had attended to for years.  The hedges were overgrown, the […]


Disengaging from the Silent Treatment and Engaging with Each Other: An Experiment for You to Try

I’ve written extensively about the silent treatment on this blog.  I wrote my first post about it because I was receiving the silent treatment myself, and I felt that my energy would be better spent writing about it than trying to get the attention of the person who was giving it to me.  The person […]


Empathy: What it Is, What it Isn’t

Years ago, a friend and I were walking across a street because the light was green and we had that little walking symbol saying it was our turn to walk. Midway through the intersection, the car we were walking in front of started forward for no apparent reason; the light had not changed. We yelled […]


Reaching Out to Others in a Real Way

When I was in college, I shared a house with roommates, some of us a bit crunchy and wacky, on a street where we were the only college students. The man across the street from us sent a clear message that he did not want us there, from the moment we moved in. He posted […]


Some Thoughts on Grief

Today seems like a good day to write about grief, since a good portion of our country is feeling profound grief due to the election outcome.  Most people do not deal with grief very well, whether it is their own grief or the grief of another.  It is not something many of us have been […]


Learning to Have a Balanced Relationship with the Internet

Earlier this year, I noticed that my relationship with the computer and the TV screen was out of balance. Both were getting more of my attention than the people and things in front of me. It took a family road trip during spring break for me to become aware of what was going on. On […]


The Power of a Sincere Apology

I have been wanting to write this blog post for a few years now.  The original inspiration for this post happened back when my daughter was in preschool and a classmate bit her.  When I asked her teacher if the classmate had been told to apologize, she said that they don’t encourage insincere apologies at […]


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