Posts by elyn

A Breakup Disguised as an Ultimatum

I once overheard a person describing her frustration with her partner to a friend.  It was clear that things were not working out in the relationship, that she had reached the end of her rope and truly wanted to call it quits.  She listed her many grievances, and stated that she was tired of being [...]


Ultimatums versus Boundaries

In relationships, it is much better to set boundaries than it is to give ultimatums.  A good boundary is the result of knowing yourself and having standards for how you want to be treated in relationship.  An ultimatum is the result of not setting boundaries to begin with; you find yourself unhappy with how you [...]


Cleaning out the Old, Making Room for the New

We’ve reached the end of the year, and the end of a decade. This year, I feel like cleaning up the house, getting rid of things that we don’t need; the things that have been collecting dust for so long. Some of these things made sense in our lives 10 years ago, but [...]


“I Want to Break Up with My Partner, but I Don’t Want to Hurt Them.”

When I was younger, I chose some pretty awful boyfriends, so breaking up with them was a no-brainer.  I felt justified because they clearly didn’t care about me anyway, or they had done some terrible thing, or they did the dirty work of breaking up with me.  I really preferred to be the heartbroken one [...]


Gratitude: Short and Sweet

The more gratitude you shine on something, the bigger and better it becomes.  Happy Thanksgiving!
For more thorough thoughts on gratitude, go here: http://elyntromey.com/therapyblog/?cat=24


Getting the Love You Deserve

If you are asking the question, “Do I deserve love?” then you probably were treated as if you didn’t at some point in your life, most likely during your childhood. You were born deserving love- every one of us was.  If you did not get that love, for whatever reason, then you sustained a [...]


Worrying about being “That” Person

How often have you wanted to do something, but were afraid to because you wouldn’t want to be “that” sort of person?  Perhaps you want a little more attention from your partner, but are afraid to ask, because you don’t want to be that self-absorbed, narcissistic attention hog.  Maybe you want to ask for a [...]


Disengaging from the Silent Treatment

Many people struggle with the silent treatment as a form of conflict in relationship. The dynamic tends to be as follows: one person withdraws attention from the other, who then responds by trying to get their partner to break their silence.  The more  the recipient of the silent treatment attempts to break their partner’s [...]


Expectations can Lead to Frustration

As a new parent, I am re-learning many things.  One lesson in particular is about getting attached to expectations, versus understanding the reality of a situation.  When we have an expectation that has very little to do with reality, and more to do with our desires, we can easily become frustrated.
Learning our baby’s napping routine [...]


Update, and Some Thoughts on Fear

It has been quite some time since I’ve written, but I want to say that this blog is not dead!  I’ve taken a bit of a hiatus, because I gave birth to my first child recently, and things like this blog are hard to keep up with.  I hope to post a thing or two, [...]


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