I once overheard a person describing her frustration with her partner to a friend. It was clear that things were not working out in the relationship, that she had reached the end of her rope and truly wanted to call it quits. She listed her many grievances, and stated that she was tired of being [...]
In relationships, it is much better to set boundaries than it is to give ultimatums. A good boundary is the result of knowing yourself and having standards for how you want to be treated in relationship. An ultimatum is the result of not setting boundaries to begin with; you find yourself unhappy with how you [...]
When I was younger, I chose some pretty awful boyfriends, so breaking up with them was a no-brainer. I felt justified because they clearly didn’t care about me anyway, or they had done some terrible thing, or they did the dirty work of breaking up with me. I really preferred to be the heartbroken one [...]
If you are asking the question, “Do I deserve love?” then you probably were treated as if you didn’t at some point in your life, most likely during your childhood. You were born deserving love- every one of us was. If you did not get that love, for whatever reason, then you sustained a [...]
Many people struggle with the silent treatment as a form of conflict in relationship. The dynamic tends to be as follows: one person withdraws attention from the other, who then responds by trying to get their partner to break their silence. The more the recipient of the silent treatment attempts to break their partner’s [...]
As a new parent, I am re-learning many things. One lesson in particular is about getting attached to expectations, versus understanding the reality of a situation. When we have an expectation that has very little to do with reality, and more to do with our desires, we can easily become frustrated.
Learning our baby’s napping routine [...]
In relationships, not all silence is the Silent Treatment. Sometimes, one partner needs more time and space to think than the other partner does. This is perfectly fine; however, if you are left wondering what your partner’s silence means, then something very important has not been communicated. You should not have to ask the question, [...]
There are all sorts of motives for and styles of the silent treatment, but they all boil down to one commonality: people give the silent treatment because it gives them control over the person they are treating with silence. If you ever got the silent treatment as a child, you can probably remember just [...]
Many TV shows and movies are about revenge. In the general plot of most crime shows, the wrongdoer is not only captured, but the detectives interviewing them make sure to let this person know just what a scumbag he or she is for what they did. Often, there is also some tasteless joke (if the [...]
Originally, I was going to title this post, “You Can’t Be True to Yourself without Disappointing Someone.” Then I thought about something that I tell people when they worry that making a tough personal choice will hurt or disappoint someone: “You are not disappointing that person, their expectations of you are disappointing them.” This is [...]
