Posts tagged ask for what you want

Swallowing the Conflict to “Keep the Peace.”

Conflict is messy.  Not many of us are skilled at it.  Sometimes, it is tempting to try bypass it altogether to “keep the peace.”  I’m not talking about choosing a battle because a particular issue is not a big deal.  I’m talking about when someone crosses a line and you feel violated but decide to […]


Telling Your Partner What You Want- The Valentine’s Day Version

A common relationship dynamic is the loaded question. You want something specific from your partner.  Instead of stating the desire, you ask a seemingly innocent question with a correct answer in mind.  If the question is answered incorrectly, you punish your partner for getting it wrong.  Maybe you want a romantic evening on Valentine’s Day, […]


Worrying about being “That” Person

How often have you wanted to do something, but were afraid to because you wouldn’t want to be “that” sort of person?  Perhaps you want a little more attention from your partner, but are afraid to ask, because you don’t want to be that self-absorbed, narcissistic attention hog.  Maybe you want to ask for a […]


Teaching Your Partner How to Meet Your Needs

It may seem unromantic, but in a truthful relationship, you need to teach your partner how to meet your needs, as well as learn from them how to meet theirs.  It would be a whole lot easier if your partner could just intuit what you need from them, and then give it to you.  You […]