Life & Therapy

Mice easily enter a house that has openings, warmth, and easy access to food.  Basically, they will come in as far as you let them, and take whatever you leave out for them, whether it is nesting material or food.  To keep them out, you have to seal the cracks to the outside, and keep any potential food source out of reach.  Otherwise, they will come in and eat your food and make nests all over your house.  It can feel as if the mice are coming in just to mess with us, but really, they are just doing what mice do, with no concept of how it impacts us.

When we don’t have boundaries with people in our lives, they can also get into our personal space and take over.  Like mice, some people will come in as far as we let them, and take as much as we give.  It is easy to get angry at the person who does this, and to feel as if they are messing with us, too- but most likely, they are unaware that they have crossed a line.  Perhaps  we always say “yes” when a friend asks for a favor, even when we don’t want to.  Maybe we don’t even show our reluctance, and we outwardly appear to be cheerful about it, while inside we are angry and resentful.  The friend keeps asking for favors, and we get increasingly resentful, but we still aren’t saying “no,” while hoping that this person will read our minds and stop asking. 

It is our job to communicate just where our boundaries are, as much as we hope that people will figure it out for themselves.   Sometimes, it can feel like a lot of work to identify and enforce our own boundaries.  It can feel awkward to say “no” to people who want things from us.  This awkwardness is a small price to pay for the peace of mind that results from knowing that our personal space is free of intruders.