Life & Therapy

Once when I was young, my best friend and I were walking around the city. A woman came up to us, all smiles and warmth, and handed us a couple of smiley face buttons. We, being innocent, smiled back, and accepted the buttons. Then she started in on us, trying to sell us on being Hare Krishna. When we told her we weren’t interested, she snatched those buttons back, angrily. My friend was absolutely wide-eyed stunned, as she was a very generous soul, and had taken the “gift” as if it were truly that.

In life, sometimes there are people who seem friendly and giving, but who are actually trying to take something from us, and have a reserve of hostility under the friendly facade. Our instincts might tell us that something is not quite right about a person when they “give” to us- but it can be confusing because they seem so friendly. People like this are emotional predators. When Little Red Riding Hood went to visit her grandmother, her instincts were telling her that things weren’t quite right, but she made a mistake when she conveyed her discomfort to the wolf. A person who sets off alarms in your instinctual self will never admit that they are not genuine, and will do their best to discount your feelings.

When we get into a situation where our insides are telling us something different than what seems true on the outside, it is important to listen to our instincts. It can be difficult at first- we may feel a sense of dread, or a fear of upsetting someone by not giving them what they want. The short term consequences may cause us discomfort, but that discomfort is nothing compared to the pain that comes when we get entangled in a situation that goes against our true instincts.