Life & Therapy

The circuit breaker panel protects a house. If there is a power surge or an overload in a zone, the breaker in that zone flips off. In old houses especially, a breaker panel can become old and worn out, and some of the breakers may no longer shut off when needed. This can be very dangerous, as the overload can result in a fire.

In life, it is good to have your own internal “circuit breaker.” Physically, if you are overdoing it, your body will give you signals such as shortness of breath, muscle pain, numbness, etc. If you listen to those signals, you might slow down or stop what you are doing, and prevent injury. If not, you may pull a muscle, get frostbite, heat stroke, etc. Emotionally, if you are overdoing it by giving too much, or not saying “no” enough, or not standing up for yourself when uncomfortable, you can burn out. It can be more difficult to understand the emotional signals on time, especially if you come from an abusive or traumatic background. It can be confusing if you have feelings of guilt when someone asks for something, or if you are worried about seeming pushy when you want to ask for something. These feelings and fears are like faulty breakers in the panel. They overwhelm your ability to “flip” to the off position, and you continue to give, or stay uncomfortable until you are overwhelmed and burnt out.

It takes time, but you can learn how to sense when you are in danger of being overwhelmed. It is often felt in your body- maybe you are holding your breath, or your stomach muscles tense up. It can also be experienced in your thoughts- someone may ask a favor, as soon as you say “yes” you become flooded with thoughts – maybe angry ones at the person who asked the favor, or maybe justifications and arguments. When you picture saying “no” you may be filled with relief. If you can learn to pause in these moments and tune into your body and mind, growing more aware of your own reactions, you will notice how your emotional self signals you to stop before you burn out. Life becomes easier when you can trust your emotional circuit breaker to do its job.