Life & Therapy

Today begins another New Year.  I have mentioned before that I am not a fan of New Year’s resolutions.  They are often hard to commit to, because they are made at an arbitrary, externally given time.  It is much easier to make changes when we have reached our own understanding of why such changes are desirable to us.  It is not so easy to make a change just because the calendar says that it is a new year.  Change truly needs to come from within to be effective.

The turning of the calendar page provides us with a different sort of opportunity, one that is more about our growth, our own evolution in life.  Every year, some sort of growth happens in our lives, but we often are so focused on what hasn’t happened yet, that we forget to look back at the areas in which we’ve grown.  New Year’s is a great time to pause and take a good look at how we’ve changed in the past year.  What do you know now that you didn’t know a year ago?  What challenges have you conquered in the last year?  Are there any fears that you have faced that now seem like not such a big deal?  If so, then it is a big deal that you now find these things to be not such a big deal! What is in your life now that wasn’t there a year ago?  Take time to acknowledge your growth in the last year.  It is helpful to write these things down.

Before you switch from looking back on the past year to looking forward to the upcoming year, take some time to appreciate just exactly where you are now.  What about your life is just right the way it is?  What would you miss if it were taken from you?  What do you appreciate in your life this very moment?  Are there things about yourself that you enjoy?  If you find it difficult to come up with something, start with the simple things that we all take for granted, the things we miss when we are injured or sick, such as lungs that breathe clearly, legs that carry you around, a head that does not hurt, eyes that can see, ears that hear whatever music that turns you on, or teeth that chew your food painlessly.

As you switch toward looking forward to the New Year, rather than creating the to-do list of resolutions, think of things you would like to see more of in your life.  It could be as simple as picking something you started to learn last year, and want to learn even more.  What do you look forward to in the coming year?  Imagine looking back on the changes in your life a year from now, and write down what those changes might be.  For fun, write a letter to your future self for next year, describing life as it is now, and what your curiosities, fears, excitements about this year might be. Fold that letter up, and don’t open it until next New Year’s. If today, you do find yourself ready for some changes, write what they are, and come up with a plan to get help in making those changes.  However it is you decide to celebrate, ponder, or  just recover- I wish you a Happy New Year!