Emotional Energy Drainers

Lately, I’ve become a bit obsessed with reducing energy use in our house.  It started with the refrigerator, and me finding out that it uses three times the amount of energy a standard new one does.  Then, I discovered that a good chunk of energy was wasted by having our TV and its accompanying recording devices on standby 24 hours a day.  Then there is the dryer and its amazing energy suck; living in arid Colorado, we can line-dry clothing pretty easily.  The list goes on.  There are many ways to save energy in a house, some involving no investment at all, such as turning off the power strip that the TV and friends are plugged into.  Others involve more of an investment, such as buying a more efficient refrigerator, or taking the time to hang the wash.

Emotionally, we have similar energy-wasters that we are often not aware of.  Many of them live in our automatic thoughts that go on all day without our notice- like the TV draining energy while on standby.  We may be thinking negative thoughts all day, and not noticing their impact on us.  We end the day drained and unhappy, but might have no idea why.  If we tune into our thoughts, we can also notice how we unconsciously tense up when we think certain things.  While driving, we might be unaware of our constant litany of how horrible all the other drivers are.  Tuning in to our body, perhaps we find that our neck muscles are really tight, or maybe it is our stomach that is taking the brunt of our thoughts.  Becoming aware of our thought patterns and our corresponding body reactions can be a low-investment way to save our emotional energy.

There are also high-investment ways for us to recover our emotional energy, which might involve some planning and time.  Perhaps we are working at a company that pays well, but makes us unhappy.  What good is the extra money when its source is sucking us dry?  Changing this part of our lives is more along the lines of putting out a wad of cash for a new refrigerator.  We may not readily have the funds, so we may need to save up.  We may not readily know what sort of job would make us happier, so we may have to spend some time researching and learning new skills.  We may even have to take a pay cut when we find the work that makes us happy, but the return will show in our newly gained emotional energy.

You can do your own emotional energy audit any time.  Notice how many relationships you are in that feel unsatisfying and depleting.  Who are the people in your life that make you feel worse about yourself when you are with them?  Notice the thought patterns that you have throughout your day- how many negative thoughts about yourself or others do you have during the day?  Notice how much tension you hold in your body.  Where do you hold this tension- your jaw, your stomach, your neck? Notice how often you swallow your feelings- this takes up possibly the most energy of all. Once you do your emotional energy audit, you can make a plan for how to reduce the waste, and you can regain that which belongs to you.