Life & Therapy

In this part of Colorado, it is good to protect the roses for the winter, but not for the reasons some may assume. We have a freeze/thaw cycle in the late winter and early spring and the roses need protection from the warmth rather than the cold during this time. So, once the ground is frozen, the roses are served by having mulch or dirt packed up around the base, about six inches high. This way, the rose will not think that it is safe to send out tender shoots during a thaw, only to have them frozen and killed when it gets cold again. It is important, though, when it is warm enough in the spring, to take the mulch off, or else the protection will become harmful to the rose, and it will be blocked from the air, warmth, and light it needs to grow and thrive. Taking the mulch off is something to be done slowly and in increments, over a few weeks, a few inches at a time, so as not to shock the rose from the sun and the warmth.
If we are raised in emotionally unpredictable environments, we learn to protect ourselves in a similar way, so that the “tender shoots” of our hearts are kept from being injured. We may have been frozen a few too many times when we thought it was safe to open up and be ourselves. We bury the true parts of ourselves under a protective layer of emotional mulch, so that the outside elements can’t hurt those parts. This protection was important to help us survive childhood. Eventually, though, in adulthood, the same protection can harm us, block us from the warmth and love we need to grow and thrive. The trick is to find out when it is safe to take off the layers, and how to do it in a way that isn’t shocking to the tender parts of ourselves.  Taking a slow approach to a relationship goes a long way toward learning the difference.