Life & Therapy

When I was in college, I loved jogging.  I was like Forrest Gump; running and running and running.  It got to where people recognized me, and asked if they could run with me, and most of the time, I said yes.  Now, I was not a fast runner, but I could run very long distances.  I started to notice that people had different approaches to running with me that spoke volumes about their approach to relationships in general.  

There were two general camps of boys that would run with me.  One extreme included the ones who didn’t want to be outdone by a girl, and would spend the runs trying to run much faster than me, trying to outdo me.  If I worked hard enough, I could run at their pace long enough for the truth to come out- these were people who couldn’t do long distance running, at all.  The others were the ones who were seeing this as a more social outing, and would match -but not try to beat- my pace. With the competitive boys, the runs were exhausting and never lasted long, and neither did the friendships. Trying to keep up with someone who makes everything a competition is no fun!  With the non-competitive ones, the runs could go on for a long time, and so did the friendships.  It was incredibly refreshing to have my pace respected for what it was.

Sometimes, we meet people who feel threatened by our talents, and who try to outdo us, or make us look bad, so that they feel better about themselves.  We might notice this because we are constantly tense around them, or feeling as if we need to perform for them in order to be in relationship.  These people are like the competitive boys I ran with- no fun.  There are other people who accept us as we are, and who enjoy our talents. We can be ourselves with these people, and things unfold at our pace, rather than one that feels too hard or too fast.  Friendships with people who aren’t competing with us or trying to put us down, are friendships that can last a long time.