Bach and Singing Banana
There is an old M*A*S*H episode where the awkward Radar goes on a date with a more worldly, music-loving woman. Because he feels out of his element, he asks for and receives dating advice: he is told to say “Ah, Bach!” when in doubt, as if this would make him seem smart or worldly, himself. Of course, this only causes comedic confusion on the date. Growing up, my brother developed a similar strategy for Sunday Mass. One day, I noticed that he seemed to know all the words to a hymn, even though we were without hymnals. I asked him about it later, and he said that he always would sing, “Banana, banana, banana,” whenever he didn’t know the words to a song.
Most of us get into situations where we feel out of our element, and we all have our strategies to get through these times. Sometimes, we feel less vulnerable if we pretend to know what we are doing, so we fake it. This is all good and fine if we have no interest in actually connecting or getting involved in whatever the situation is calling for. In the case of Radar, his strategy worked against him, because he wanted to connect with his date, but instead wound up looking quite foolish and separate. In the case of my brother’s banana singing, it got him through a song that he had no interest in learning, and I doubt he feels that he lost out on anything.
Sometimes, we need to discern what we want in a situation. If we just want to get through it without connecting to it, maybe an “Ah, Bach!” is in order. If we do want to connect more deeply with a person or an experience, we may have to admit that we are feeling out of our element, that we’re not sure what to do, and that we are uncertain. This can make us feel quite vulnerable, but will deepen our experience. If we “banana” ourselves out of every uncomfortable situation, we may escape looking foolish, but we may also miss out on an opportunity for deeper connection with another.