My daughter has entered a grade level where she and her classmates are trying to work out some complex social dynamics. Children huddle and talk about some other child that they don’t like. I have been trying to work through my own emotional reactions to this so that I can find a way to talk […]
When I hired our children’s piano teacher, he stated clearly that he expected us (the parents) to participate in their lessons so that we could help our kids practice in between. The biggest struggle with practicing at first for both of them was being told they’d made mistakes. There were several power struggles in the […]
Yesterday, I wrote about pruning the roses for spring, something I willingly do on my own terms. Sometimes in spring, plants get pruned on the weather’s terms. Things get ripped brutally apart from the weight of a heavy snowstorm, and you are left with broken plants, trees, bushes. You were excited about the potential fruit […]
Yesterday, I cut back two of my largest rosebushes for spring. It always seems impossible that the roses can survive such pruning, but every year, they grow back even better than the year before. I planted these roses when they were in one-gallon pots and each about a foot tall, and they’ve grown into massive […]
In the comic strip “Peanuts” the character Lucy is a bully, and perhaps her most famous mean trick is the football swipe: She tells Charlie Brown that she’ll hold the football for him, then swipes it away at the last minute and he falls. I hated this story line as a child. I got frustrated […]
As the parent of a two-year old, I give a lot of mini-ultimatums throughout the day. These ultimatums work because I have more responsibility and power than my two-year old does. It is my responsibility to keep my child from hurting himself and others, and I hold the power to enforce many boundaries because he […]
Almost six years ago, I wrote my first post about the Silent Treatment. I wrote it from the perspective of someone who is on the receiving end of the silence, and it struck a nerve with many people who have been given the silent treatment. I had no idea that it would touch such a […]
Conflict is messy. Not many of us are skilled at it. Sometimes, it is tempting to try bypass it altogether to “keep the peace.” I’m not talking about choosing a battle because a particular issue is not a big deal. I’m talking about when someone crosses a line and you feel violated but decide to […]
As I’ve mentioned before, I like to look at the key phrases people use to find this website. A surprising amount of searches follow some form of “Should I break up using the Silent Treatment?” It is as if the searcher is hoping that if they ignore their partner, the relationship will magically go away. […]
Yesterday, my daughter was in a terrible mood. She didn’t eat enough, and she skipped her nap. The littlest things would trigger the biggest tantrums. Whoever happened to step on the landmine of her bad mood was the person she thought was causing the bad mood. For a three-year-old, this makes perfect sense. Screaming from […]