Many TV shows and movies are about revenge. In the general plot of most crime shows, the wrongdoer is not only captured, but the detectives interviewing them make sure to let this person know just what a scumbag he or she is for what they did. Often, there is also some tasteless joke (if the […]
Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Giving thanks tends to conjure up images of the good things in life: abundance, love, health, wealth, and so on. I recently have been thinking of times in my life that were very difficult or painful, but in the end shaped me and gave me something rich. I am […]
Originally, I was going to title this post, “You Can’t Be True to Yourself without Disappointing Someone.” Then I thought about something that I tell people when they worry that making a tough personal choice will hurt or disappoint someone: “You are not disappointing that person, their expectations of you are disappointing them.” This is […]
“If you don’t already know, I’m not going to tell you.” In some relationships, this is a classic response to the question, “Is something wrong?” One person unwittingly offends the other. Instead of speaking up, the offended person withdraws, often into the silent treatment, expects the offender to read his or her mind, and becomes angry […]
Right now is a very charged and tense time in our country. The election is drawing rapidly near, and it seems that the country is again split in half. The candidates are calling each other names, and we are being inundated with negative ads. Tensions are running high between people who hold opposing political views. […]
Since I wrote about the silent treatment on this site, traffic has increased- many people are looking for help in this particular department. The following was asked by a reader named Tammy, and I thought I might bring it up as an entry and do my best to address the questions asked: I found this site […]
It may seem unromantic, but in a truthful relationship, you need to teach your partner how to meet your needs, as well as learn from them how to meet theirs. It would be a whole lot easier if your partner could just intuit what you need from them, and then give it to you. You […]
When you love someone who treats you badly, it is difficult to make sense of it. Your friends don’t get it, nor does your brain, but still you just can’t seem to help yourself. The love feels so strong and powerful that you put up with or overlook the ways your partner treats you poorly. […]
When I was in my twenties, I got into one of those relationships that was all passion (okay, and sex) with very little else holding it together. The first time I came over to this boyfriend’s house and up to his bedroom, there was a striking absence of anything but a bed. This new lover […]
A classic dynamic in romantic relationships is The Ultimatum. One person wants the other to behave in a certain way, and threatens to leave if they don’t. Some examples include threatening to leave if your partner doesn’t stop drinking, hanging out with unsavory friends, or cheating. The threat even seems to work for a while, […]