Leaving a longtime relationship, even the most unhealthy one, can be incredibly difficult to do. The fear of the unknown can be paralyzing. You might have a million questions. Who will you be without this relationship? How will you get by? What will you do with all the extra energy that you poured into being […]
As a mother of a toddler, I hear myself saying things like, “If you head-butt Mommy again, you can’t sit in Mommy’s lap anymore.” This is a rule that I regularly enforce, and enforcing it is easier because she knows that rule exists ahead of time. Our child also has rules that we need to […]
I once overheard a person describing her frustration with her partner to a friend. It was clear that things were not working out in the relationship, that she had reached the end of her rope and truly wanted to call it quits. She listed her many grievances, and stated that she was tired of being […]
In relationships, it is much better to set boundaries than it is to give ultimatums. A good boundary is the result of knowing yourself and having standards for how you want to be treated in relationship. An ultimatum is the result of not setting boundaries to begin with; you find yourself unhappy with how you […]
When I was younger, I chose some pretty awful boyfriends, so breaking up with them was a no-brainer. I felt justified because they clearly didn’t care about me anyway, or they had done some terrible thing, or they did the dirty work of breaking up with me. I really preferred to be the heartbroken one […]
If you are asking the question, “Do I deserve love?” then you probably were treated as if you didn’t at some point in your life, most likely during your childhood. You were born deserving love- every one of us was. If you did not get that love, for whatever reason, then you sustained a tragic […]
Many people struggle with the silent treatment as a form of conflict in relationship. The dynamic tends to be as follows: one person withdraws attention from the other, who then responds by trying to get their partner to break their silence. The more the recipient of the silent treatment attempts to break their partner’s silence, […]
As a new parent, I am re-learning many things. One lesson in particular is about getting attached to expectations, versus understanding the reality of a situation. When we have an expectation that has very little to do with reality, and more to do with our desires, we can easily become frustrated. Learning our baby’s napping […]
In relationships, not all silence is the Silent Treatment. Sometimes, one partner needs more time and space to think than the other partner does. This is perfectly fine; however, if you are left wondering what your partner’s silence means, then something very important has not been communicated. You should not have to ask the question, […]
*3/26/2014* This post was originally titled “Why Do People Give the Silent Treatment?” The previous title was not accurate in describing the contents of this post, since this post is really about only one aspect of the silent treatment: control. This post is directed toward the person on the receiving end of the silent treatment […]