Comments for Life & Therapy

Comment on Why do People Give the Silent Treatment? by Emily

Emily — Mon, 07 May 2012 04:57:26 +0000

I am into day 3 of ST. the situation is rather extraordinary. My person is a friend who became a lover, we have been together mutually exclusively for 6 months but he refuses to acknowledge this. He is a recovering alcoholic and sex addict, and is recently diagnosed with PTSD, OCD and I suspect Borderline Personality Disorder, a fact he let slip in a conversation over the last couple of weeks.
My ST comes by way of a series of events, our tenuous relationship, his relationship with his homegroup at AA and the tragic suicide last week of his nephew. He recently began attending SLAA (sex,love anon) meetings which has resulted in the total extinguishment of our intimate relationship, something that was unilaterally decided upon by him with no recourse for conversation by me. Im in grief over the instability of our relationship and the loss of our intimacy, so my ST punishment comes by way of behaving intimately towards him one morning last week when I stayed the night. I wasnt even going to stay but he invited me to, and yet he has taken no responsibility for placing either me or him in the situation, opting instead to comfortably blame me for all the actions taken the next morning. I love this man, I wanted to express this, but am being raged upon instead.
the whole thing is such a mess, and now Im receiving this passive aggressive ST, when I know hes being nice to other people who are trying to be supportive of his nephews death, I have especially tried as my former partner took his life as well, but Im being treated like shit. Just happy to see Im not alone in suffering from this behaviour and will be trying my hardest to take care of myself from this moment forward.

Comment on Why do People Give the Silent Treatment? by Chelly

Chelly — Wed, 02 May 2012 23:24:01 +0000

My step-daughter (24) and her friends all give me the silent treatment. It is horrible. My husband doesn’t seem to believe it, even though they do the same thing to her sister! I now stay away from events where these people are because it is so uncomfortable. Additionally, both she and her mother-in-law bad mouth me behind my back…but I get to hear about it (note my sarcasm) from other family members. The Monster in Law is all smiles to my face. I can’t believe I am a grown woman and yet feel like the reject on the playground.

Comment on The Pain of the Silent Treatment and What It Might Be Telling You by dm

dm — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 17:17:14 +0000

I am amazed at how many people feel this way. Until a few hours ago I thought I was over reacting. When I met my boyfriend just over a year ago I thought that the waiting and all those prayers have been answered. But I realise that as much as he is an amazing person its not possible for him to have an adult conversation about his feelings. I’d like to think of myself as a strong person but thinking back to all our fights its just a pattern that i’ve neglected to see. i’ve always been the one to give in.always grovelling for the attention.always asking what was wrong. its a sad truth to confront that he may not change. Even sadder the decision I’ll have to make if he doesnt change. thanks for sharing your stories.it really helped.

Comment on Worrying about being “That” Person by Life & Therapy ~ Labeling People versus Addressing Their Behaviour

Life & Therapy ~ Labeling People versus Addressing Their Behaviour — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 16:43:49 +0000

[...] to this, we unconsciously disallow ourselves from doing anything that would cause us to be like “that person,” since we’re behaving as if actions make an [...]

Comment on The Pain of the Silent Treatment and What It Might Be Telling You by Sam

Sam — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 23:55:30 +0000

The ST has been used in my relationship on and off for nearly four years now. Despite repeated attempts to clear the air , be nice to her, ask whats wrong, nothing seems to work. Ilove her very much, left a souless marriage with property security for her. Bet the farm on this relationship, but to no avail. Day three at the moment, and monosylabic replies to queries of concern for her health, wellbeing. Previously she will play the ST to nearly breaking up point, really testing my love and endurance and simply hug and kiss me and carry on as though nothing had ever happened. I will always love her, but I see now, that I must reclaim my life and persona and not be a slave to this one sided blackmail. Very sad, but no regrets!

Comment on Mind-Reading, Guessing Games, and Communication Breakdowns in Relationships by Sad Victim

Sad Victim — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:13:00 +0000

Ive been too tired and no direction being tortured by my wife silence treatment. Author’s u r so true that person whom use ST as a weapon is so childish and it made me more nearer to end of this relation. Hope me and all ST receiver hv a peace of mind.

Comment on Not All Silence is the Silent Treatment by NT

NT — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 01:55:15 +0000

I found great enlightenment in this article. I’ve been struggling with trying to understand why my boyfriend has stopped talking to me. We’ve been together 6 months and have not fought or argued in any explosive or irrational way. We’ve both been married and have children who are close in age and get along great!!! They are very adoring of both he and I as well. Our parents love each of us and get along wonderfully with each other as well!!!! Sounds like a fairy tale right??? We’ve shared a few isolated moments where one or the other had conflict with a situation or concern. We’ve both been open to listening, caring and respectful in finding resolution to the situation. We’ve talked often about our relationship and how blessed we both feel. If anything, it’s been fast!!!!! I can only rationalize the need for space. He didn’t ask – I offered it to him. Leading up to this, each of our kids were gone for holiday. We shared our evenings during the work week, and enjoying each others uninterrupted company. Our biggest issue, staying up until 1 AM ever night and up at 5:30 AM to work. The next weekend, I was sensing a distance I’d never experienced. It hurt my feelings. Jumping to assumption, I called the following Tues, feeling emotional, and crying to his “unreceptive tone”. I asked if something was wrong, if I had done something to upset or hurt him? He said no (cool and aloof like-again not something I’d ever experienced). Feeling unassured I questioned why he was being so distant. Yes, I cried!!! He resounded with my reading to much into things. I left our last conversation with the suggestion that I acknowledged how much time we’ve been together and if he need some space that I understood, I said I’m leaving the ball in your court. I haven’t heard from him since. I sent him an email apologizing if i hurt him for making assumptions about his silence. He acknowledged w a text, saying I didn’t need to be sorry and apologized for leaving me hanging, that he has a few things to discuss with me and will when he was ready. I have no choice to wait. I can either close off out of feeling put off, or honor my offer for him to take time for himself. It’s been an agonizing period of time for me, I miss him so much, and have had moments of struggle with the negative what if’s that are keeping him away. I have to trust the stregth in the foundation of our love for one another. I have to consider the actions he’s demonstrated towards me and kids that are consistent to being loving. It’s still hard. It still hurts sometimes. It’s been 9 days, and feels like an eternity. I am holding faith and hope, this period of silence and separation are for the good and future growth of our relationship. I have to believe this and use this time to grow for myself too.

Comment on Is it Okay for Parents Give the Silent Treatment to Children? by Life & Therapy ~ Not All Silence is the Silent Treatment

Life & Therapy ~ Not All Silence is the Silent Treatment — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 16:57:58 +0000

[...] Is It Okay for Parents to Give the Silent Treatment? [...]

Comment on Not All Silence is the Silent Treatment by Carol

Carol — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 15:02:18 +0000

This was how I was treated by my parents for years and years. Really, my mom was the person who did this, and my dad just followed suit. This went on since I was 11 years old, and it would go on for weeks at a time. Now that my children are older, I realize how awful it was. My parents are upset with me currently, and of course my mom is giving me the silent treatment. I am just over it entirely. How does a person do this, and think it’s ok?

Comment on The Pain of the Silent Treatment and What It Might Be Telling You by Kream

Kream — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 08:15:30 +0000

I am currently getting the silent treatment and it hurts deep down inside. I wish that we would just get together and put everything on the table. What we need, want and require from each other. Although he has been very patient with me and my short comings, flaws and all… our communication level is really low. Neither one of us can seem to put into words the way we feel about everything. I hold nothing against him.. I pray for him all the time and no matter what he will Always be My Baby and I will Forever be his Bonnie:))